Not bad. A few thoughts, in random order:
- the Rave sounds a little trite (like a bunch of goth kids with glow sticks), I mean who named them that and why? The description brings a mix of Reavers from Firefly with Masters of Orion 2 villains - the Antarens. Not terrible, but not seemingly that original.
- Why would any species have a fail-safe device that locks their OWN planets into another dimension? Very odd. Also, MOO 2 again, just in reverse.
- I like space settings, they are rare for the most part and lend themselves to tech trees and futures that can be very open-ended, which in turn leaves alot of options open for players. That said, I'm not sure this one is that original or that inspiring. The best I can think of for this system is the different techs and shields and such we could do for various species, but there are more original and better story settings we can use if we want to do that. I like the tech, cybernetic and genetic evolution aspects of this tale, and the no magic at all (something a bit different from most of the other submissions), but since we are looking for something to work on to then turn into a viable sellable game package, I just don't feel this has the legs for it.




Fenris
Thankyou for you kind review that is so very reflective of this setting. I've talked to her and she told me she didn't know how to alter her previous review after she saw the changes I made and accidently double reviewed. I'd gladly delete the old review and she would to (if she could figure out how). I was going to contact Mike in a minute before you posted that however, so thank you for taking care of it for me.